Secretly

(This is an old poem I never posted. I wrote it what feels like years ago. I never liked it. But when I read it now I think it is beautiful and raw and honest. I like it when emotion pours out of us, pure, honest ugly emotion. It is beautiful. Never be ashamed of how you feel, it's these emotions, no matter how ugly, that change us, grow us and mold us into people who have experiences, scars and life. Hope you enjoy it. G x)

I am an impostor.

Living half a life.

Living out a lie.

Barely surviving in the shadows you created.

I secretly lust after you.

But I know you only belong to yourself.

You never truly let me in.

I always felt lost in your heart.

You were lost in my world.

You wanted to do someone else.

You should have been by yourself.

Like you I have to think so selfishly.

Evidently it pays.

Foolish me.

Think with your head and not your heart.

Think about the pain.

Feeling used.

I know I was abused.

But still secretly I think of you.

I despise the new.

You wanted to do someone else.

You should have been by yourself.

Always walking away.

Making excuses.

You made a fool of me.

How weak I became.

I look back now I feel my own shame.

I wait for tomorrows twilight.

I soon shall be set free.

Secretly.

G ©