Women's Day.

So yesterday it was Woman's day in South Africa. And what a wonderful time it is to be a woman. I consider myself incredibly lucky to be born in the century I was born in and in the country I was born in. I have a job, I can vote, I wear what I please, love who I want, live how I want, I have my own money, which I can spend anyhow I please, I can control every aspect of my life and I am free to be any version of me I choose to be. At a darker time and even still in dark places around the world, woman were and are not so lucky. For them, to be a woman is and was a curse. For these women my heart aches. Many died without knowing the freedom and strength they held within their souls, many still live without the taste of independence on their lips, caged in a flawed, antiquated world. But I am lucky enough to feel treasured and am so proud to be a spirited, free woman. As a woman I stand with pride for independence, love, passion, respect, equality, nurturing and kindness. And I give thanks to those women who gave us, the women of their future the power to live a life on equal terms, with love and respect. So yesterday I didn't celebrate my Woman's day by burning my bra or chaining myself naked to a government building, like our strong, beautiful, revolutionary ancestors, because of them I was able to go out and have a quiet, special day with my mother. We went to movies and then lunch and it was lovely. I am very grateful to be able to do this. I am grateful to be a woman. And I am very proud of the woman I am. So here is to all the remarkable woman of our present and our past. Make every day Woman's day, and walk with pride and respect, we owe it to those who got us here. G :)

The Hidden Path And The Looming Rainbow.

I haven't posted in a long time. To be honest I haven't been in the mood to do anything at all for a while now. Things don't seem to be working out at all how I saw them happening. In actual fact they are working out the opposite. Its funny how life happens like that. (not really funny ha ha, more peculiar, with a hint of darkness sort of funny) Without realizing it, I seem to have grown up really fast. I have in the past month realized my exact value and what I deserve in this life. How I should be treated and treasured. How I should hold myself above all else. I have learnt that you teach people how to treat you. I have learnt that no matter how much you want something to be, doesn't always mean it will be. And I have learnt that I need to think more with my brain and less with my heart. I feel I have stepped into a new world. Not a perfect, nirvana world, but the real world. It is good and sad all at the same time. (Even though I currently feel numb) But trust me this revelation did not come without pain, loss and many tears. I have realized that just because we have a plan, just because we have hope, trust and belief doesn't mean things will work out how we see them. Sometimes there really is nothing you can do. And even though it seems unfair and cruel it doesn't mean there isn't a better path waiting for you along the way. A path that you have not even thought possible. A path that leads you to true happiness and fulfillment. If you are not laughing loud and crying hard you are not doing life right. We live, we love and we learn. And with those lovely clichés, I will sign off saying, tomorrow is another day and even though today is dark and stormy, I know my rainbow will come. I just need to wait it out and heal my wounds.

Here is to rainbows (And even though I am now thinking like a rational adult, I still believe in wishing on stars) G :)

I Am In Love With Love.

It has been a very long time since I have written a post. Its amazing how sometimes life seems to silently steal you away from your normal world. And days pass after days and everything flies by in a single second. Before you blink it is a new month and you have no idea where the time went. It's crazy, it's like you have left days behind, lost somewhere along the way. I have learnt a few things in the past few weeks. It seems silly because these are things I already know, but I think I just forget sometimes.

Like how blissfully amazing it feels to feel loved. To not only hear those sweet words but to feel them inside you, like butterflies tickling your heart. How it changes everything. To have someone look at you and you can see the love gleaming in their eyes. Nothing can compare to the feeling of been treasured by someone who you share your deepest love with. That is magical.

Nothing on this earth matters more than those you love. No matter how bad a day, week or year is, no matter how many tearful nights you have or dark days you have felt, if you surround yourself by people who genuinely love and adore your very soul, all that other useless stuff seems to dissolve into nothingness. Nothing in this world matters more than the relationships with those people who truly love you. If everything fell away and I was left jobless, broke, damaged and afraid, I would be ok as long as I had those few special people I love at my side. I have learnt that I draw strength and happiness from those around me. No promotion or increase or place or thing makes me feel as wealthy as I do when I see my lover truly happy at my side, his hand on mine his eyes lovingly, on mine, or to have my older brothers crawl on to the bed with me and beg me to come and play dominos with them, or to have my amazing nephews share a secret with me, whispering it into my ear, or to have a friend trust me enough to tell me her deepest, darkest fears, or to see my mother and father simply looking into each others eyes with flawless love after 30 years of joyful marriage. This is why I am alive. To experience these things, to be surrounded by these people makes my life worth living. This is what makes me euphoric. Different people live for different things, some strive to be the best at what they do, some need to make as much money as they can to the feel secure, others need to feel popular and cool to fit in, others need to go places and see things to find contentment, everyone is searching for something. I don’t really need a great job where I earn loads of money, I don’t need hundreds of friends or designer things to satisfy me, I don’t need to travel to exotic places learning and seeing amazing things, all I need is love and those people who love me. That is honestly all I need, the rest is all just a bonus. In all truth I think my greatest fear is to be unloved and completely alone. That is the only thing I could not survive. I am in such a great place at the moment because I know how much I am loved. I can feel it. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible, caring, beautiful souls who love me for who I am. And who I love unapologetically with all that I am.

I am holding on to that little ray of sunshine. The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Share the love, G :)

Stuck in a hole!

Thank goodness for fridays! They make the torturous week almost bearable. Almost. I must say I seem to have fallen into a very dark hole. (A bit like Alice in Wonderland but not quiet as cool) And it's cold and lonely in here. You know when the darkness seems to swallow you up and everything is tainted by a bitter taste and the world seems just a little more sinister and disturbing with every day that passes. Well it happens to me now and then, when I am sad or upset about something (usually something big) it effects my entire universe. I cant just sweep it aside and carry on, it consumes me and consumes my entire world, kind of like a black hole. And slowly everything seems to spiral out of control. It's all very depressing but thank goodness I write and create more when I feel gloomy. I plan to sap the darkness for all that it's worth! So welcome darkness, take a load off and make yourself comfortable while you are here. G :)

My Fresh New Canvas!

This last weekend I went out shopping with my boyfriend, W and he inspired me to buy oils again. He knows I have been trying to re-boot my creative juices after a very, long mental block (what I like to call my deep, dark, black hole) and since he is pretty much my biggest supporter for anything I do artistically, he forced the desperately needed inspiration into my dried up creative mind. Thank goodness for him! 

Anyway, so we went into this little arts shop and I got a full supply of shiny, new painting stuff... from canvases to linseed oil. So here I am prepared to let the caged artist in me loose. And I am so excited! I am so excited that I am so excited! But I am utterly terrified at the same time. 

I haven't painted in about 3 years and with oils, about 7 (back in my school days)! I am completely terrified I have forgotten how. I am feeling totally out of my league. 

I used to love to disappear in my own little, fantasy world of light, tints and colours, where anything was possible. I used to stay awake till early hours of the morning, with my earphones in, painting, getting high on turps and covered in oils. I lost all track of time when I was painting, nothing else in this world mattered. It was amazing, I love to paint. It brings back so many fond, warm feelings deep inside me. But as the years went by, somewhere along the way I lost it, I got a job and never found the time and slowly my paint dried up and my painting stuff got moved into storage. It's all very sadly pathetic really. 

But now I have this new lease on painting, free reign, no one marking me, no deadlines, no set topics... just all me and my ideas... and it terrifies me. I know all I need to do is just blob that first bit of paint onto that crisp, untainted, pure, white canvas and I will be halfway there, but it's not as easy as it seems. Since buying my new supplies, I have constantly been in search for the perfect topic, the perfect moment, the perfect mood. (I think it's all just my usual, procrastinating self, mixed in with the nerves) 

Well my studio awaits, fresh with promise and freedom, I just need to dive right in and let the paint swallow me whole, before the dust settles and I loose my nerve. Maybe I will paint a crow :) G

Splashy Fen 2010

Well tomorrow I am off to Spalshy Fen 2010 (the fairly famous South African music festival). And this must be about the 7th or 8th year I will be attending (one can't be sure, they all seem to blur into one) and I can not wait! I am so excited to slip into my old trusty gum boots, whip on a scarf, grab a bottle of old brown and head off to the mountains with the hippies. Oh the yearning I have to join the hippies in the dirty grass :)  And only once a year, in the easter cold berg, I get to fulfill that longing. Leaving behind work, stress, and boring daily life and replacing it with the serene beauty of nature, friendly faces, love, laughter and music. I live for Splashy! I swear in a past life I was a long haired, hairy-legged, tree hugging, peace sign waving, rainbow child, hippie! So for the next 4 days and nights I will be in the mountains, sleeping an a tent, in freezing conditions, skipping in mud in my gum boots, waking up to the clearest blue skies in the morning and the darkest star scattered skies at night, breathing in the freshest air, walking hand in hand with the man I love at my side and the warm sun on my skin, drinking out of pure necessity to stay warm in the nights and simply for fun in the days, swimming in rivers and lounging on tufts of grass in the day, listening to music from rock and jazz to bongos and tambourines, eating the tastiest food from tiny little trailers served by bearded, tie-died old hippie men and barefooted, smiling hippie women, doing nothing except soaking in the sun, the earth, the forest, the music and the freedom of it all. Sigh...Bliss. So peace out my fellow tree huggers, I am off to open my eyes :) G (the hippie version) 

http://www.splashyfen.co.za/

Good morning sunshine!

Bansky Art - http://www.banksy.co.uk/

Oh the joys of Monday! Everyone seems to be singing, smiling and dancing around like some sick Mary Poppins movie...I could barley drag my lifeless body out of bed this morning to arrive at work on time. And to be honest the dam sunshine stung my eyes!

Its amazing how you get morning people and people who are just not cut out for the whole wake up and shine kind of vibe. Frankly, I don't think I am even a day person never mind morning! But I do wish I could be that sunshine person who bounces out of bed and greets the day with exuberance and grace and doesn't think of a string of profanities when woken by joyous laughter...but if I am honest, if I don't get tea in my belly immediately someone will die. And it wont be pretty. Thats just the reality. Happy Monday Sunshine Clan, I do envy your smile and that little bounce in your step but for now please stay out of my way...it's for your own safety :) G

Welcome To All

Well finally I am here. I have been threatening to do this for ages, always having something to say, but not really knowing if it's worth listening to. Or more importantly, who in their sane mind would listen to my incessant ramblings! A lot of people are forced to listen, as I bend their ears on a daily basis, but alas, this is not by choice, they are forced to by love. Shame, poor buggers. But now after long last I have a new captive audience! (even if for now it is just this computer screen). So hi, my name is G and I am a graphic designer in South Africa. I enjoy anything that gets the creative juices flowing and art is my emotional outlet. I am know to dabble in poetry, painting, drawing and writing, anything that allows me to express myself freely. This blog is my new canvas. Clean and white. Just a warning, I don't claim to be brilliant or profound or genius but I do enjoy what I do and I do think I have an awful lot to say for one little person, so I hope I can inspire, motivate, awaken or even amuse you. Feel free to inspire, motivate, awaken and amuse me too. So please comment freely :) G