I Miss You.

The world is different in your absence.

The space next to me trembles and throbs at its' loss.

My shaky hands feel wrong without yours' entwined in them.

My skin doesn't feel like my own.

My empty eyes are leaking.

The tap won't switch off.

The light won't switch on.

It's dark and lonely.

It hurts everyday.

Every single part of my body mourns.

It is like each limb on a string, is a puppet to my mangled heart.

The pain cuts through me.

Deep and ragged, raging red.

I hold my breath and grit my teeth.

Waiting for it to fade into a gentle ache.

In the middle of the night I wake up with tears streaming down my face, clutching my chest as it bleeds.

Everything is wrong.

Without you living feels false, like my glassy smile.

Every step I take I turn to look for you.

Each second I am waiting for your pleading call.

I fall asleep with your name on my lips and your tears in my eyes.

And wake up every morning wishing you were lying next to me.

But you have gone

And this day is erroneous.

This week. This month. I am simply functioning, no longer alive.

Just waiting for the next day, the next week, year.

Waiting for the pain to leave or for you to show up.

The world feels faulty.

I feel defective.

Hollow, numb, useless.

It's so easy to forget our grey

when the world without you is so deadly black and cold.

It's so easy to ignore the scar when

this open wound clots and the pain surges within my very core.

The bare space where my heart was throbs incessantly.

I am so lost without you.

I miss the chaos that was us.

I miss your smile, as well as my own.

I don't want to live without you.

But what other choice do i have.

G ©