Loss

Life is such a tender little thread. It is broken so easily. We don't realize how fragile we all are...how easily everything that is precious to us can be taken away. How quickly we can disappear. And how the world carries on. It seems unfair, it seems cruel and ruthless. It is so heartbreakingly sad. Death is not opposite to life it is apart of it, but it is still so sad and often too cruel to bare. Just because you are a good, kind gentle soul, just because you follow the rules and treat people right, just because you make people laugh and work hard each day and love your family, does not guaranty you will live or that you will die with dignity or without pain. Nothing can guaranty that. It is often said the good die young. Why!? Why do the good die young! Why do the good have to die painfully and slow!? That is unfair...plain and simple. If the good are going to die young at lease do it without pain and in a single breath...not a dragged out, shuddering breath, torturous ordeal. Sigh. I am unhappy with death and whoever's job it is to take people to the next place. I am cross that people I love are aching. I am pissed off at the universe for taking someone so precious and kind away from us. And I am just plain miserable that there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it! But like most painful things in this life we can learn from this. We can grow and it will make us stronger. I have learnt to love with no rules and limits, the brain has no place in love. To tell the ones you care about, you love them...every single day (and then to tell them again). I have learnt stupid things that seem to be big things, actually mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. I have learnt to not be so hard. To be more gentle with peoples hearts. To be more caring, to go out of my way to be more caring and not be so unforgiving and stubborn. I have learnt that we are stronger than we ever even realized. I have learnt that I have faith that after death something awaits. I have learnt the rules mean nothing. I have learnt that angles and spirits are very real and with a open heart and a free mind we can feel them. I realize that every single tiny second is the most precious gift we have and we should not waste them on been sad or thinking about things that shall never be or regretting things that are...we should simply love. And love recklessly, un-relentlessly...even if it scares us shitless. G